“The feeling of being unfit, unlovable, not compatible” Pamphlets Music Video Review
Designer/ Animator Raman Djafari has released a blazingly bold CG music video for the post-punk band, Squid. The stylish video takes the concepts hinted at in the lyrics and pushes it further, adding emotional layers of vibrant colour and clear performance. Pamphlets is a compassionate piece exploring the experience of wanting to hide away to avoid the potential embarrassment and rejection. Raman Djafari explains, “The video for Pamphlets is a meditation on the feeling of being unfit, unlovable, not compatible and the manic anxiety and stress that this results in. I wanted to explore a state of mind that I have found myself in many times.”
The environment of this character’s house is a kind of humid, bathroom-tiled flat with a mattress that has no sheets. Silver, reds and blues are draped around the place. When I first saw this, I thought it might be made using real-life sets or models because the lighting and texturing looks that real. The shapes and textures are so physical and bumpy that I want to touch everything but the way the light bounces off of things, I can imagine the sweaty condensation on my fingers. Our glowing, freaky character paces around nervously tapping their manicured hands, spinning on the spot. They watch the public go about their day from behind a window, waiting to not feel how they feel. Just watching the repetition of these behaviors made me feel the urgency and frustration of being trapped in a place or state of mind. The lyrics, “That’s why I don’t go outside.” are displayed in a character who suffers with the fear of being exposed to the world.
Raman Djafari – “ The fear of being rejected for the ways one is marked as different and perceived as such, manifested in the presence and gaze of others, becomes the way we see ourselves. We internalize the rejection that we are subjected to. As a result, there is the urge to hide away, suppress and judge whatever it is that we have been taught to hate, thus detaching from the self and thereby detaching from others. This is a video that relates to my own experiences as well as that, it is a solidarisation with everyone that has felt this way.”
To varying degrees, I think this feeling will be recognizable to many in our time, especially following the isolation of a pandemic. Raman has created a film with a distinct, surreal and stylish aesthetic, conveying deep feelings whilst keeping it clear and simple. I love the details of the accumulation of apples and arranging them in patterns, the stacked plates and mugs, a sign that you don’t want to even venture out to the kitchen. “It is the fear of going outside and forcibly being confronted with everything that one cannot love about themselves, because they have been taught not to. Rooted in trauma that is as personal as it is always connected to society at large, harmful self-images are incredibly hard to escape.” Raman Djafai
Luckily, we get to witness an ethereal transformation that offers the audience a beam of hope! There’s a great moment of change when the character’s spinning and there are flies flapping everywhere and they lift up their arms in a way that’s celebratory and unashamed. Raman Djafari says,“The second half of the video is about the emergence from that state of mind through the embrace of difference. It is a process that I myself am still very much going through and learning from, so it is also a reminder and an exercise in empowerment. The transformation that happens when we learn to love ourselves is a detachment from the ideals of normativity. Loving the difference, that which is perceived as ugly and rotten, is beautiful. At the same time it is an unlearning of the false truths that have been etched into our minds and hearts. There is an awe inspiring power in this process.” Our blue suited character ascends into the sunset with a swarm of flies as we see up-close and in the flesh, those we saw from behind the window. They’re all gawking in awe at our beautiful pink friend as they finally grow their wings. A triumphant rebirth from alienation to love and self-acceptance.
“…There are so many people that have been subjected to way more horrible pains than I have. All of these people that survive and re-emerge are beautiful wonders that I admire deeply. They all are glowing in front of the sun, undeniably great and transcendent.” Raman Djafari
When I asked Raman what influenced his visual style, he said, “The track has a pressing urgency that guided me throughout the process and the lyrics felt like a call to action. Sung by the fierce voice of Ollie Judge the vocals directly inspired the design of my protagonist. (The moment when Ollie’s voice is spoken through the mouth of the protagonist still feels magical to me.) For the cinematography and set design I have drawn inspiration from Robert Wilson, Leslie Zhang, Alex Prager and Tim Walker’s photographies of Tilda Swinton, which also heavily inspired the character design next to Björk, Freddie Burretti’s ice blue suit as worn by David Bowie as well as Alec Marchant’s photos of JPEGMAFIA, whose work has been essential for me in the process of developing the atmosphere of the video. Most importantly though, this video has been enriched and informed by the artist and writer Alok Vaid-Menon and their amazing writing as well as the work of the countless queer artists and activists that are healing the world through their presence every day.”
As a final question, I asked Raman where he likes to go when he goes outside.
“For me it is less a place to be then it is a way to be outside that I particularly love. It is an attempt to get purposefully lost. I often go outside with that intention, just walking until I don’t know where I am anymore and then continue walking further. Eventually I need to find my way back but that state of being willfully lost is something that I really enjoy.” Raman Djafari
It’s a rare gem, seeing an animated music video with such a powerful atmosphere and surreal style that can also express emotional pain and healing in such a sincere, believable way. A fusion of Hamburg based CG art and British Post-Punk that just works. With an incredible catalogue of influences, masses of technical and creative talent and a willingness to show vulnerability through his work, it’s no wonder Raman Djafari’s music video Pamphlets is so stunning.